I’m going to tell you a story. When I first started working in the public school system, I felt pretty good physically. I felt refreshed in the mornings and was happy to be a part of something very important by the end of the day. When I got home, I smelled like sweat and cafeteria but I was proud. My pants would have some pen marks on them from when students would try to write on me when I wasn’t looking. I wasn’t angry; I wore it like a badge.
A few months went by and I started to become physically tired and homesick. I was spending the same number of hours at work as I was at my apartment, a twelve-hour split. I would wake up angry about how horrible some of the conditions are and arrived back at my place numb. I began to cherish the weekends more.
One friday in mid-October, I came directly home and went to bed. Fuck going out to the bars. I didn’t know how people had the energy. Upon waking up around noon on saturday, I made breakfast and then decided to take a nap. I was awake for no longer than forty-five minutes. I woke up later that day around 8 p.m. confused, frustrated, groggy, and melancholy that I had wasted a full day. I had no idea what to do with myself. The longing to be home in Kentucky was almost unbearable and I decided to leave my basement apartment and walk around the neighborhood with my camera. This resulted in roughly 70 photos that perfectly encompassed my mood. It made me feel much better. Sometimes it is difficult for me to express how I feel. It usually all comes out in a scramble of words and noises. Conversations with friends sometimes feel like packages filled with puzzle pieces from different puzzles.
The result turned out completely surreal, hence why I left the pictures in color from my usual preference for black and white. Everything seemed fake yet every problem seemed so very real. It was something that at the time, I could not have possibly translated into words and looking back at these photos now, I realize that the initial feeling was completely preserved in the strange colors, focuses, and angles of these shots. The following are some of my favorites. I hope you enjoy/understand.